2 areas to work on: - Clear argumentation (logical flow) - Language use (sentence structure, vocabulary)
http://www.buowl.boun.edu.tr/students/types%20of%20essays/argumentative/ARGUMENTATIVE.htm This website teaches me how to analyze the issue develop my arguments properly. It has provided several questions that I should be able to answer in order to craft a proper argument. These questions will help me to develop a smooth logical flow throughout my whole essay. I will answer these helping questions the next time I write my essay and see if it helps.
Definitions:
GM food - food derived from organisms whose genetic material have been altered using genetic engineering techniques
boon - something to be thankful for; blessing; benefit
bane - a person or thing that ruins or spoils; poison; causes death
Issue:
Safety - some products were found to contain allergic reactions. A lot of testings required to ensure safety
Environment - Spread of genes to produce species of weeds resistant to herbicides
Biodiversity - herbicide resistant GM crops would allow better weed control which would have a negative impact on wildlife that might rely on farm weeds
Religious - Judaism and Islam prohibit consumption of pork, and they have concerns about GM food containing genes from pigs.
It is important for an essay to have a catchy introduction that makes the readers want to continue reading. I shall attempt to phrase my introduction in the way that my readers would feel that the essay is relevant to them and that they are involved in whatever that I am writing about, in this case the consumption of GM food.
Paragraph:
Just when you thought you only ate a piece of vegetable, are you aware of the chemicals that accompanied your food down your oesophagus? How sure are you that the rice you consumed the last time is not the same GM rice that was released without approval in 2005? GM food is now everywhere. It is estimated that over seventy percent of the foods in the grocery stores in United States and Canada contain genetically engineered ingredients. These food have been modified to resist pests, viruses and the harsh conditions of the weather to ensure good harvests all year round. However in recent years, people start to question this practice that intensified in the 1970s because of several health, environmental and religious issues raised. Now, is it worth it to violate your own religious practices or sacrifice your own health just because of GM food?
Comments (Han Quan):
Erm, since this is your introduction, maybe you should include the factors you are going to write in your essay; what are the bane and boon you are going to cover. Another suggestion, maybe you should not place two questions together as your first two sentences for your introduction paragraph. You have three questions in your introduction, too many rhetorical questions may not be beneficial to your paragraph/essay.
Comments (Yong Xiang):
I think you have laid your definition of GM food, and pointed on the controversy involved with GM food quite well. I think you can delete the word "raised" in the 2nd last sentence.
Lesson 3
How I can improve my paragraph based on the comments given:
- cut down on questions
- remove a word
Revised paragraph:
Just when you thought you only ate a piece of vegetable, are you aware of the chemicals that accompanied your food down your oesophagus? GM food is now everywhere. It is estimated that over seventy percent of the foods in the grocery stores in United States and Canada contain genetically engineered ingredients. These food have been modified to resist pests, viruses and the harsh conditions of the weather to ensure good harvests all year round. However in recent years, people start to question this practice that intensified in the 1970s because of several health, environmental and religious issues. Now, is it worth it to violate your own religious practices or sacrifice your own health just because of GM food?
Reflections:
I think this essay-writing exercise is a good opportunity for me to learn and practice on my essay writing skills at my own comfortable pace. Over the one week, I have learnt about some pointers to take note with regards to sentence structure and logical flow. Based on what I have learnt from the online resources, I applied them by making sure that I considered the pointers and also double-checked on the logical flow and sentence structure of my paragraph. Hope to have more practices on essay writing!
2 areas to work on:
- Clear argumentation (logical flow)
- Language use (sentence structure, vocabulary)
http://www.buowl.boun.edu.tr/students/types%20of%20essays/argumentative/ARGUMENTATIVE.htm
This website teaches me how to analyze the issue develop my arguments properly. It has provided several questions that I should be able to answer in order to craft a proper argument. These questions will help me to develop a smooth logical flow throughout my whole essay. I will answer these helping questions the next time I write my essay and see if it helps.
http://hedc.otago.ac.nz/hedc/sld/Study-Guides-and-Resources/Paragraph-and-sentence-structure.html
This website provides information on how to do proper paragraphing and highlights some of the common sentence-structure mistakes committed by students. After going through the content, I have a better understand of how to minimise on my language mistakes.
Others:
http://www.gradschools.com/Article/essay-writing-lesson4-transition/989.html
Lesson 2
GM (Genetically Modified) Food - boon or bane?
Definitions:
GM food - food derived from organisms whose genetic material have been altered using genetic engineering techniques
boon - something to be thankful for; blessing; benefit
bane - a person or thing that ruins or spoils; poison; causes death
Issue:
Safety - some products were found to contain allergic reactions. A lot of testings required to ensure safety
Environment - Spread of genes to produce species of weeds resistant to herbicides
Biodiversity - herbicide resistant GM crops would allow better weed control which would have a negative impact on wildlife that might rely on farm weeds
Religious - Judaism and Islam prohibit consumption of pork, and they have concerns about GM food containing genes from pigs.
It is important for an essay to have a catchy introduction that makes the readers want to continue reading. I shall attempt to phrase my introduction in the way that my readers would feel that the essay is relevant to them and that they are involved in whatever that I am writing about, in this case the consumption of GM food.
Paragraph:
Just when you thought you only ate a piece of vegetable, are you aware of the chemicals that accompanied your food down your oesophagus? How sure are you that the rice you consumed the last time is not the same GM rice that was released without approval in 2005? GM food is now everywhere. It is estimated that over seventy percent of the foods in the grocery stores in United States and Canada contain genetically engineered ingredients. These food have been modified to resist pests, viruses and the harsh conditions of the weather to ensure good harvests all year round. However in recent years, people start to question this practice that intensified in the 1970s because of several health, environmental and religious issues raised. Now, is it worth it to violate your own religious practices or sacrifice your own health just because of GM food?
Comments (Han Quan):
Erm, since this is your introduction, maybe you should include the factors you are going to write in your essay; what are the bane and boon you are going to cover. Another suggestion, maybe you should not place two questions together as your first two sentences for your introduction paragraph. You have three questions in your introduction, too many rhetorical questions may not be beneficial to your paragraph/essay.
Comments (Yong Xiang):
I think you have laid your definition of GM food, and pointed on the controversy involved with GM food quite well. I think you can delete the word "raised" in the 2nd last sentence.
Lesson 3
How I can improve my paragraph based on the comments given:
- cut down on questions
- remove a word
Revised paragraph:
Just when you thought you only ate a piece of vegetable, are you aware of the chemicals that accompanied your food down your oesophagus? GM food is now everywhere. It is estimated that over seventy percent of the foods in the grocery stores in United States and Canada contain genetically engineered ingredients. These food have been modified to resist pests, viruses and the harsh conditions of the weather to ensure good harvests all year round. However in recent years, people start to question this practice that intensified in the 1970s because of several health, environmental and religious issues. Now, is it worth it to violate your own religious practices or sacrifice your own health just because of GM food?
Reflections:
I think this essay-writing exercise is a good opportunity for me to learn and practice on my essay writing skills at my own comfortable pace. Over the one week, I have learnt about some pointers to take note with regards to sentence structure and logical flow. Based on what I have learnt from the online resources, I applied them by making sure that I considered the pointers and also double-checked on the logical flow and sentence structure of my paragraph. Hope to have more practices on essay writing!